Reminder: For those in Phoenix I am speaking at the Phoenix Investment Conference being held at the Renaissance Hotel in Glendale on Friday at 3:30pm and again at 5:30pm on Saturday.
The fun started in Mexico City. I had taken a short flight from Acapulco to Mexico City and as usual, getting through the Acapulco airport was a breeze. Literally, it took 30 seconds to get from the check in counter, through security and to the gate. Ah, the land of the free, I thought.
Things took a dire turn for the worse upon boarding my flight from Mexico City to Phoenix. All other boarding gates with destinations like Paris and London were all normal and casual. But any gate with flights destined for the US had armies of bag checkers, security guards and other assorted personnel – and they checked thoroughly through every piece of luggage and performed pat downs on every single person.
They rooted through my bag and found some toiletries including cologne and other like items.
“You can't carry this on,” they snorted and they went to throw it in the garbage.
“Hey,” I said, “I just paid over $100 for that cologne. Why can't I carry it on?”
“It needs to be in a plastic bag!” they snapped back as though it were the natural order of things that everyone should just know instinctively.
“Why?” I asked.
“That's the rules!”
“But how does putting my cologne in a plastic bag change anything?”
“We don't make the rules, sir!”
“I don't make rules either but maybe you read the rule wrong, because this rule doesn't make any sense,” I suggested.
Again she motioned to throw away my cologne.
“Wait,” I said, “Do you have a plastic bag?”
“No.”
“Can I go and buy a plastic bag from someone?”
“No.”
“You know, I'd be willing to pay as much as $100 for a simple plastic bag, considering I'd still save time and money over you just throwing it away senselessly,” I opined. “I'd pay you for a bag.”
“It's not about the money, sir,” she retorted.
“It is for me!” I exclaimed.
I looked around and, believe it or not, sitting on the boarding gate counter was a plastic bag! Alright! I just saved $100, I thought!
I walked over and picked it up.
“Hey, put that down!”
“Why?” I asked, “it's just a $0.01 plastic bag that no one seems to be using and it's just the thing I need!”
“It's not yours!” she barked!
“Now you are just pissing me off,” I said.
Thankfully, at that point, some supervisory lady had seen all the commotion and nodded to the bag check lady that it would be okay if I used it.
The bag lady jammed my cologne into the plastic bag and threw it back into my luggage, visibly upset. I can't say I felt bad about ruining her day like that!
And, boy I enjoy flying to the US, I thought.
Three hours later and I had just entered into the US and already I was being checked, patted down and having my papers looked over by three different government officials. This after already having been checked, patted down and having my identification being checked numerous times in Mexico City.
They wanted to yet again root through my baggage. Irritated I asked the two armed “security” officers what it is exactly they were looking for.
“Maybe you have guns or weapons,” they said.
“You have guns, what would be the problem if I did?” I shot back.
Of course, they didn't like being questioned. “We'll do the questioning here,” was the look they gave me.
“Maybe you have drugs,” they said.
“Drugs? Like Prozac? That lobotomize you and make you violent? Or the hundreds of other pharmaceuticals that have nothing to do with health and in fact do the opposite by doing nothing but masking symptoms and put people into a downward spiral where they need more and more pharmaceuticals to mask the new symptoms created by the other drugs? No, I wouldn't touch those, but thanks for your concern!”
“No, those are all legal. I mean drugs like marijuana,” he said.
“Well, that's not a drug. Are you crazy? That's a plant!”
After ten more minutes of rifling through my underwear I finally got through and went to my hotel where I received a text message from some other conference participants to meet them at a local plaza with numerous bars and restaurants all within very close proximity.
All the bars are right next to each other and while I was having a drink I saw an old friend at a bar nearby and decided to go over and say hi. In places like Hong Kong, Mexico and actually most places in the world, it would be normal to leave the bar with your drink to go to the other bar. Not so much in Arizona, apparently!
I had only walked about 20 feet when a security guard began barking at me like a dog – visibly angered! I laughed at him as he was getting all worked up into a lather over the fact that I had removed alcohol from one “licensed” establishment and had not yet arrived at the other licensed establishment a few feet away.
“Throw it in the garbage, right now!” he said.
I just looked down at my drink, and looked to the bar which was just a few feet away now and said, “Why don't I just go into that bar there instead?”
He immediately got on his walkie talkie. A few seconds later three police cruisers rounded the corner. A few moments later and I was very forcibly put up against the wall with my hands on my head and my feet spread.
A few seconds later I was in handcuffs.
All the policemen looked like they were on steroids and they circled me hooting and pumping out their chests like a band of gorillas!
I tried to point out the ludicrousness of the situation but was told many times to keep quiet. They then decided to ban me from the entire area for a 30 day period. “If we see you here again in the next 30 days you'll be charged with trespassing,” they said.
Considering I am here for an investment conference and have numerous meetings over the next few days in the Plaza next to the hotel, this story could get even more interesting yet!
I managed to get away from a fine due to my not being an American resident – I guess they figured I wouldn't pay it even if they bothered to write it up. Boy did they get that one right!
After about twenty minutes they finally uncuffed me. I told them I was here for a conference and was even speaking at the event, and considering the event is basically held within this Plaza I might see them again sometime soon.
As I walked away one of the security guards who had come in for support asked me what I was speaking on.
I told him, in loud enough terms that all the policemen could hear, “I'm speaking about the collapse of the American Empire and how the government and all the rules, regulations, money printing and taxes are destroying this country.”
I think they thought I was joking.
You, however, know I am not joking. If you are looking for ways to expatriate yourself and your assets outside of the police states in the western nations, subscribe to The Dollar Vigilante, because these cops are only going to get worse and worse as crime increases and as the unemployed and impoverished through the actions of their governments begin to fight back.
