[Editor's Note: Due to an outpouring of requests we will bring Dear Slavey to you on a weekly basis – as opposed to the initial monthly basis we planned. And now, here is Dear Slavey!]
Dear Slavey:
I work on project based consulting contracts. The companies I work with prefer to put me on their books as a temporary employee and taxes are deducted from my check. But because they pay me in a lump sum their payroll system thinks I make that much in an 8 hour day, and an enormous amount of tax is taken out. I need that money but I have to wait for a year to get it back from the IRS – my refund is often $10,000 or more – and the actual amount of tax they end up keeping is insane. The companies I work with have refused to alter their payroll system to reduce the tax being deducted. What can I do to keep the money I earn in my own damn pocket before and after tax filing time?
Frank in Reno, NV
Dear Frank:
First of all, congrats on not buying into the 9-5 hourly slave wage job lifestyle like most of the lemmings in this country. The majority of those jobs don’t pay enough to live anymore, (many slavey wage earners in the US are on food stamps even though they have full-time employment) so you’re already one step ahead. Sounds like you do well, but the US Government is taking your money and using it to pay interest on their debts while you’re being forced to lend them YOUR money with no interest.
While it’s almost impossible for the average American working slave to do anything about the taxes taken off of their paycheck, in your situation you can. First try this trick taught to me by a former IRS agent. Take a deep breath – don’t be afraid, and fill out a new W-4 form for each of your employers indicating allowances in line 5 anywhere from 7 to 11. The higher the number, the less tax will be taken from your check. This may seem radical and illegal to most slaves out there who will fall in line and use the worksheet they provide, dutifully filling out the proper number of allowances they’re “allowed” by the IRS. IGNORE THAT! The former IRS agent told me that if you don’t put a number in there higher than 11 it won’t raise any red flags and you’ll get to keep much more money in your pocket from each contract than ever before. No guarantees, everything I tell you in this column is grass roots guerrilla de-slaving advice – check my facts on your own, but this technique works for people I know.
It’s crucial that you also find an accountant to file your tax return at the end of the year who knows your business and preferably has worked previously with the IRS. It’s the slaves who try to do their own taxes who end up paying the most. You may just find at the end of the year, even with the higher deductions, you owe nothing more than the small amount they took out if you get someone to prepare your taxes who knows all the loopholes most people aren’t aware of. You can always adjust that number in line 5 to taste if you’ve held back too much. If you did – just get your accountant to file an extension request allowing you to file your tax return in October, giving you time to come up with the money (bet you slaves didn’t know you could do that). As much as I advocate avoid paying when being extorted for money in the US from other crooks, it’s pretty hard to play games with the IRS at the end of the day. Just work every angle of their ridiculously complicated system as much to your advantage as you can and you’ll be fine. And yeah, pay what your accountant ends up calculating you owe on time, or they’ll start making you file taxes quarterly.
If you find you’re still getting too much of refund, take one or two of the W-4 forms and write “EXEMPT” in line 5 so almost no tax is taken off. Just don’t do that on all of them to avoid red flags. Enjoy the extra cash flow! And, hey, perhaps with the money that you’ve kept out of the Government’s clutches you may save one or two brown kids from being droned to death by OBomber. A win-win!
Have a question for Dear Slavey? Email to tdv@dollarvigilante.com.
